Girl Code! Girl Code! Girl Code!

Like I have said before I have joined a couple of dating sites. And I have been having fun talking to some the fellas on these sites. I have run into my ex guys and my friends ex guys.

Now I'm fairly new to the area so I don't know a whole lot of people. I also don't have a lot friends, so when I meant people I try to make friends. The problem I'm running into is that I'm meeting my friends ex guys. Of course sometimes I don't know that they're my friends ex because I've never met before. Let me just jump into this wonderful story. Here goes...

So I meant a nice guy the name of *John Smith* (No that's not his name and I'm not tell you guys his name either). I didn't even know who he was until I saw his profile picture on Facebook.  That's how I figured out he was my friends ex. They have a kid together and I notice that are friends. So I proceed to ask him how he knew her and that how I found out. Now before you ladies start calling me out and saying I broke girl code, I actually didn't. Once I found out I asked him if he minded me ask her if it was alright for us to start talking. He said yes. Which I have to say I was a lil surprised but at the same time I was like well at least he has nothing to hide. So I call her and asked if it was cool and she said it was. At this point I wasn't sure only because I knew that if it was me I would not be okay with it. Even if we were okay with each other. So I let him know that she said it was cool for us to talk and we did.

I will say this I like him but a part me always feels kinda guilty cause he is my friends ex. I'm not the most positive person because I'm not. I like guys to pursue me not to the point where I want to change my number, but you make me feel like they are interested me. I also like a guy who listens to what I have to say. I get that as he wanted to meet me but I had plans this past weekend. So when he asked I told him that I couldn't but that I could the following weekend. So then he asked if we could talk to I said yes, but I get confused when people ask if we can talk when that's what we're doing. Just because we're not on the phone talking doesn't mean we're not communicating. We can text and be communicating. Anywho we spoke last Friday and to be honest it felt like he did most of the talking then anything else. I would talk here and there and just did the "mmhmm" and the "Oh yeah that's nice" answers. Once he was done talking I was getting tired and didn't want to talk to him anymore, but I kept talking to him. He then started asking questions and there was times when he would ask the same questions twice in a row. In my head I was like are you paying attention or do u just not care. I tried have lots patience but by golly god I was ready to tell him off. I event told him that I wasn't a phone person and her like totally brushed it off like I was just messing with. Which is not the case because I really do hate talking on the phone. Even family hates the fact I don't call them. Anywho... I get that he wanted to meet this weekend but I had already told him that I was busy and he kept bugging me to meet him. The more someone pushes me to do something the more I tend to pull back. If I start to feel pressured I start to pull back and not want anything to do the guy I'm talking to.  I'm trying really hard to be nice to him but I feel like yelling at him and tell him to back fuck off just a lil. I feel like he wants me to stop everything for him and I just can't stop everything for him. I've never done that before and I won't start now.

I get that I may feel like that because its been awhile since I've been in a relationship. I also understand that I need to be open to someone but it so hard when its just been me and my family. I hate letting new people into my life because I'm so scared of getting hurt. Sometimes I feel like I don't want to date anyone. I wish I could be like those woman who can jump from one relationship to the next. I have come to realize that I'm okay with the idea of growing old by myself. I don't feel the need to have someone there to witness every lil thing I do. Sure sometimes I want someone to talk to but who doesn't. 

I'm just not sure this guy is the guy for me. I'm glad I asked my friend about maybe starting a relationship with him. I feel like I did the right thing. I'm really not sure about him I'll keep you guys posted on that situation.